My Question of the Day: Do you try to control who your children can or cannot be friends with?

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My Question of the Day: Ever since Rebecca’s sister, Yvonne, got married to Aven, she’s pulled further and further away from the family. Their parents are very concerned over this. Before her marriage, Yvonne had a great job, many friends, called her family members at least two or three times a week and visited at least one or two family members or friends once or twice a week. Now just getting Yvonne to return a phone call has because almost impossible.

Aven didn’t want Yvonne to work, so she quit her job. He would get angry and jealous when she went out with her family or friends, so she quit doing that, too. When anyone calls their house, only Aven answers the phone and never allows Yvonne to speak, telling whomever is on the other line that Yvonne is busy and will call back when she’s available, which is almost never these days.

Rebecca is fed up with all of the nonsense, so she gets in her car and drives over to Yvonne and Aven’s home. When she first rings the doorbell, no one answers. She knows that both Aven and Yvonne are home, because both their cars are parked in the driveway. Rebecca continues to ring the doorbell until she hears footsteps on the other side of the door. Aven rips the door open and glares at Rebecca.

“What’s wrong with you! Why are you ringing our doorbell like a crazy woman?” Aven blocks the door with his body, so Rebecca can’t see into the house.

“I want to see my sister,” Rebecca spits out at him.

“She’s busy! I’ll have her call you!” Aven continues to glare at Rebecca and refuses to open the door far enough for her to see in.

“What’s that awful smell?” Rebecca turns up her nose.

“What smell?”

“It smells like, I don’t know, rotten meat. Where’s Yvonne? I want to talk to her.”

“She’s busy! Didn’t you hear me?”

“YVONNE!” Rebecca stands on her toes swaying her body left and right trying to see past Aven into the house, but she can’t see over his shoulders.

“Could you go now. I don’t want to be rude and close this door in your face. Yvonne will call you later.” Aven still glares at Rebecca, but his voice is even and calm.

“I’m not going anywhere until I see my sister. If you close this door on me, I’m going back to my car and calling the police. YVONNE?!?!” Rebecca again tries to look around Aven into the house. After what seems like forever to Rebecca, Aven relents.

“Wait right there. She can come to the door for three minutes if it’ll get you off my porch!” Aven closes the door and Rebecca hears the lock click. A few minutes later, Rebecca hears the lock click again and Yvonne pulls the door open slightly.

“Hey, sis. Can you come out and talk to me?”

“Uh… What do you want, Becca? I’m busy.” Yvonne’s tone was tight and stressed. Rebecca walks closer to the door and starts to whisper something, but Yvonne’s eyes darted quickly to the right over and over, signalling that Aven is behind the door and Rebecca steps back.

“Well, when can I come back and see you?” Rebecca signs “R U O K” to her sister. Both women learned the American Sign Language alphabet years before.

“No, Becca. I don’t think you should come over here without calling. I’m married now, and I can’t just drop everything because you want to sit and visit.”

“Well…” Before Rebecca can say anything else, Yvonne is snatched back from the open door and it is slammed in Rebecca’s face.

As Rebecca walks away, she thinks to herself, “Did her “no” mean she’s not all right or don’t come here without calling?”

What do you think, and what would you do in this situation?

My 2 Cents: The fact that Yvonne warned Rebecca that Aven was behind the door would signify to me that she’s not totally a party to the treatment she’s (Yvonne) receiving.

If I asked her if she is OK, and the next word out of her mouth is “No,” it doesn’t matter what comes out of her mouth after that, I’m going to assume that she’s not OK, especially if my last vision of my sister is seeing her snatched out of an open door to have it slammed in my face.

I’d go back to my car, call the police and wait for some help to arrive. If the police got there, and my sister refused to go with them, I’d be hurt and scared, but you can’t make grown folks do what they don’t want to or don’t think they can do.

I, however, would not let this situation rest until I’ve exhausted every means to secure my sister’s safety for the long-run.

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RULES FOR COMMENTS

1. DO NOT include links in your post. There is a place for you to include one link when you’re filling out the Name/Email/Website information. Comments that include links will be deleted.

2. If your post is obviously irrelevant to the question at hand, it will be deleted. This is a tactic spammers use to simply show up on blogs.

3. Please keep your comments respectful. We can agree to disagree without attacking each other.

My Question of the Day: You have a good friend or relative who is determined to enter a competition to do something for which s/he totally has no talent. For years, you and so many others have tried to tell this person that this particular thing just isn’t his/her “cup of tea,” but s/he is absolutely determined to enter a competition that will expose him/her to the criticism of thousands of people. What do you do?

My 2 Cents: You can’t save a person who doesn’t want to be saved. I would make one, last attempt to ask him/her to think about what s/he is getting in to, and then I’d let it happen.

In the end, I’d be there to support him/her. I’m no talent scout, s/he may have the spark that someone else will see and know how to hone, so my good friend or relative can realize his/her dream. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

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The commentary doesn’t have to end!

Please feel free to continue to add your comments below.

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RULES FOR COMMENTS

1. DO NOT include links in your post. There is a place for you to include one link when you’re filling out the Name/Email/Website information. Comments that include links will be deleted.

2. If your post is obviously irrelevant to the question at hand, it will be deleted. This is a tactic spammers use to simply show up on blogs.

3. Please keep your comments respectful. We can agree to disagree without attacking each other.

My Question of the Day: Many of us have found ourselves needing a little boost in our income until our next payday. With that in mind, think about how you handle loaning money to friends and/or family. When you do loan money to people, regardless of whether you’re expecting them to pay it back or not, do your require that they tell you why they need the money before you will agree to help?

My 2 Cents: I actually don’t require it, and I’d prefer not to know, but I can’t think of anyone who asked to borrow money from me who hasn’t just felt compelled to tell me the reason they need it.

If I have it, I’ll loan it. If I don’t have it, I won’t.

It doesn’t matter for what the money is needed. An explanation doesn’t make me more or less inclined to give a loan. It all depends on whether I’m in a position to make the loan, period.

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The commentary doesn’t have to end!

Please feel free to continue to add your comments below.

RULES FOR COMMENTS

1. DO NOT include links in your post. There is a place for you to include one link when you’re filling out the Name/Email/Website information. Comments that include links will be deleted.

2. If your post is obviously irrelevant to the question at hand, it will be deleted. This is a tactic spammers use to simply show up on blogs.

3. Please keep your comments respectful. We can agree to disagree without attacking each other.

My Question of the Day: A night out with friends is usually a good time had by all involved. Imagine you and several friends decide to go out to a restaurant. You all are talking and laughing and having an awesome time. Everyone orders their food, and all your friends drink, but you don’t. They each order one or two alcoholic beverages, which runs up the bill considerably. Even though you’ve ordered one soda and a Caesar’s salad, you’ve enjoyed your time with your friends tremendously. When the bill comes, someone suggests that you all split the bill evenly between everyone at the table. Several other people agree. What do you do?

My 2 Cents: I love my friends, and I enjoy having a good time with them, but I’m not paying for anyone’s alcohol, and anyone who knows me, and considers themselves my good friend, knows this is the case. They can all split the big bill between them, but I’m paying for my soda (it would probably be water since I don’t drink soda ) and salad and leaving the waiter/waitress a generous tip, if s/he has given us excellent service.

In the past, I’ve actually had others just pay my portion because it was such a small part of the tab, and I leave what I was going to use to pay my tab as a tip for the waiter/waitress.

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The commentary doesn’t have to end!

Please feel free to continue to add your comments below.

———-

RULES FOR COMMENTS

1. DO NOT include links in your post. There is a place for you to include one link when you’re filling out the Name/Email/Website information. Comments that include links will be deleted.

2. If your post is obviously irrelevant to the question at hand, it will be deleted. This is a tactic spammers use to simply show up on blogs.

3. Please keep your comments respectful. We can agree to disagree without attacking each other.