My Question of the Day: When you go home to visit your family, how many days is enough before you’re ready to go?

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My Question of the Day: Your cousin, who recently was laid off from his/her job, calls you up from a car dealership and asks you to “pretend” to be his/her employer, and to say he/she has worked for “your company” for six years, so he/she can qualify to finance a new car. What do you do?

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My Question of the Day: Ever since Rebecca’s sister, Yvonne, got married to Aven, she’s pulled further and further away from the family. Their parents are very concerned over this. Before her marriage, Yvonne had a great job, many friends, called her family members at least two or three times a week and visited at least one or two family members or friends once or twice a week. Now just getting Yvonne to return a phone call has because almost impossible.

Aven didn’t want Yvonne to work, so she quit her job. He would get angry and jealous when she went out with her family or friends, so she quit doing that, too. When anyone calls their house, only Aven answers the phone and never allows Yvonne to speak, telling whomever is on the other line that Yvonne is busy and will call back when she’s available, which is almost never these days.

Rebecca is fed up with all of the nonsense, so she gets in her car and drives over to Yvonne and Aven’s home. When she first rings the doorbell, no one answers. She knows that both Aven and Yvonne are home, because both their cars are parked in the driveway. Rebecca continues to ring the doorbell until she hears footsteps on the other side of the door. Aven rips the door open and glares at Rebecca.

“What’s wrong with you! Why are you ringing our doorbell like a crazy woman?” Aven blocks the door with his body, so Rebecca can’t see into the house.

“I want to see my sister,” Rebecca spits out at him.

“She’s busy! I’ll have her call you!” Aven continues to glare at Rebecca and refuses to open the door far enough for her to see in.

“What’s that awful smell?” Rebecca turns up her nose.

“What smell?”

“It smells like, I don’t know, rotten meat. Where’s Yvonne? I want to talk to her.”

“She’s busy! Didn’t you hear me?”

“YVONNE!” Rebecca stands on her toes swaying her body left and right trying to see past Aven into the house, but she can’t see over his shoulders.

“Could you go now. I don’t want to be rude and close this door in your face. Yvonne will call you later.” Aven still glares at Rebecca, but his voice is even and calm.

“I’m not going anywhere until I see my sister. If you close this door on me, I’m going back to my car and calling the police. YVONNE?!?!” Rebecca again tries to look around Aven into the house. After what seems like forever to Rebecca, Aven relents.

“Wait right there. She can come to the door for three minutes if it’ll get you off my porch!” Aven closes the door and Rebecca hears the lock click. A few minutes later, Rebecca hears the lock click again and Yvonne pulls the door open slightly.

“Hey, sis. Can you come out and talk to me?”

“Uh… What do you want, Becca? I’m busy.” Yvonne’s tone was tight and stressed. Rebecca walks closer to the door and starts to whisper something, but Yvonne’s eyes darted quickly to the right over and over, signalling that Aven is behind the door and Rebecca steps back.

“Well, when can I come back and see you?” Rebecca signs “R U O K” to her sister. Both women learned the American Sign Language alphabet years before.

“No, Becca. I don’t think you should come over here without calling. I’m married now, and I can’t just drop everything because you want to sit and visit.”

“Well…” Before Rebecca can say anything else, Yvonne is snatched back from the open door and it is slammed in Rebecca’s face.

As Rebecca walks away, she thinks to herself, “Did her “no” mean she’s not all right or don’t come here without calling?”

What do you think, and what would you do in this situation?

My 2 Cents: The fact that Yvonne warned Rebecca that Aven was behind the door would signify to me that she’s not totally a party to the treatment she’s (Yvonne) receiving.

If I asked her if she is OK, and the next word out of her mouth is “No,” it doesn’t matter what comes out of her mouth after that, I’m going to assume that she’s not OK, especially if my last vision of my sister is seeing her snatched out of an open door to have it slammed in my face.

I’d go back to my car, call the police and wait for some help to arrive. If the police got there, and my sister refused to go with them, I’d be hurt and scared, but you can’t make grown folks do what they don’t want to or don’t think they can do.

I, however, would not let this situation rest until I’ve exhausted every means to secure my sister’s safety for the long-run.

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The commentary doesn’€™t have to end!

Please feel free to continue to add your comments below.

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RULES FOR COMMENTS

1. DO NOT include links in your post. There is a place for you to include one link when you’re filling out the Name/Email/Website information. Comments that include links will be deleted.

2. If your post is obviously irrelevant to the question at hand, it will be deleted. This is a tactic spammers use to simply show up on blogs.

3. Please keep your comments respectful. We can agree to disagree without attacking each other.

My Question of the Day: Agatha, a stay-at-home mom, who devoted 20 years of her life as a military spouse until her husband retired a year ago, lives on the East Coast with her husband and children, loves her life and is smack, dab in the middle of the most comfortable routine that her life has had in years. She’s settled, has friends to hang out with and just loves not having to pack up and move to another of her husband’s duty stations after two or three years. She has also seen how the permanency of being in one place has settled her children, and they are thriving.

One day while planning her weekend, her husband, Edward, tells her he needs to talk with her about something very important. Edward goes on to explain how his parents are not doing very well on their own and he’s concerned for their safety. They live on the West Coast, so it takes a long time to get to them if something happens.

Agatha loves her in-laws, so she tells Edward that she’d be happy to have Edward’s parents move in with them. However, that’s not what Edward has in mind. He goes on to tell Agatha that the plan is for them to sell their home and re-establish themselves on the West Coast near his parents. Since they’re older and fragile, and need to be near the doctors and places they trust, Edward couldn’t convince his parents to move to the East Coast.

Edward tells Agatha that the final decision rests with her. He acknowledges all the sacrifices she made during his military career, and he also acknowledges that he knows she and their children have been very happy staying put and growing roots in their current community. He tells Agatha that she can decide whether they stay or go.

What should Agatha do?

My 2 Cents: Uh, no. There’s no way, if I were Agatha, that I’d let my husband put me in this position. He wouldn’t be going to my children telling them that it was my decision to move, and he wouldn’t be going to his parents telling them that it was my decision that they not move.

I’d tell him that as the man of the house, who for the last 20 years decided where we lived and when we moved, this is also his decision. I’d let him know I’d respect his choice, and support him 100% but I would not allow him to put me in this trick bag, especially if I never had a choice in all the previous moves.

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The commentary doesn’t have to end!

Please feel free to continue to add your comments below.

———-

RULES FOR COMMENTS

1. DO NOT include links in your post. There is a place for you to include one link when you’re filling out the Name/Email/Website information. Comments that include links will be deleted.

2. If your post is obviously irrelevant to the question at hand, it will be deleted. This is a tactic spammers use to simply show up on blogs.

3. Please keep your comments respectful. We can agree to disagree without attacking each other.