My Question of the Day: You volunteer weekly at a shelter for battered women. The shelter is federally funded and there are several regulations that must be followed or the shelter could lose its financial backing. One of the regulations that is strictly enforced is that no men, other than those on-staff, can enter the shelter under any circumstances.

When you signed on as a volunteer you were made to read an article about another federally-funded shelter that was closed because one of the workers allowed a man into the building who said he had a message for one of the women. The man had been hired by the woman’s husband to kill her and her two children, which he succeeded in doing, along with killing two other women who tried to protect the children.

Late one night, while you’re on duty, there is a vigorous pounding on the front door. You, the other worker and the two massive, armed off-duty police volunteers go to see if it is a woman fleeing for her life. During your training you were told to make every effort to get to the front door quickly when someone knocks, because it could be a woman in grave danger. With weapons draw, one officer opens the door while the other officer stands in front of you and the other worker in case there’s an attack.

You all see a man standing there with one child in his arms and another clinging to his leg. The man is badly beaten, and he explains that his wife did it. He tells you all that his wife has been beating him for years and his last straw was when she went after the baby. He turns the child around so you can see its badly-bruised face. The man asks you to please take in him and his children because he has nowhere else to go.

What do you do?

My 2 Cents: When the idea of battered-relief shelters were originally conceived, the overwhelming majority of people facing domestic violence were women and their children. It would only make sense to me that such shelters would have rules designed to protect women from their abusive partners. This may mean that men would not be allowed in the shelters for any reason, and I would honor that if I am a volunteer.

I wouldn’t just turn the man and his children away, though. I would ask one of the officers to stand with him outside the facility for his safety, and then I would call other shelters that aren’t exclusively for battered women. If I could find no place to take him, I’d ask the off-duty police volunteers to help him. If he and one of his children have been physically assaulted, the police should be able to offer him some assistance.

One thing, for sure, he could not come into the shelter since the regulations state that no men are allowed who are not on-staff. After this incident, though, I would ask the shelter to consider the fact that men are being battered, too, and ask the Board to think about how to help men, as well as women, who are fleeing domestic violence.

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Take a few moments to check out the tweets from Twitter on this subject:

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PROTECTED TWEETER I say don’t let the man in. 1) Against rules and you could lose your job, 2) Could be a setup

JoshDamage I recommend he seek services at a family shelter and suggest he press charges

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The commentary doesn’t have to end!

Please feel free to continue to add your comments below.

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