My Question of the Day: When you’re at work, and lunchtime comes around, do you try to make it a habit to get away from the job and have your lunch, or do you just get your food and keep working at your desk while you eat?

My 2 Cents: Most of the time I eat at my desk, if I have lunch at all. Sometimes I just have to get away from the office, or I’ll let everyone pull me in million directions because sometimes lunch is the only time others can make their requests. When I’m teaching, I’m off limits, and lunch is when the floodgates seem to open and everyone wants to call, email or stop in my office. Ugh. I’m not complaining. I understand why they do it, but if I want to have peace during lunch I have to leave the office.

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My Question of the Day: When it comes to clothes and/or shoes, would you sacrifice comfort for cuteness?

My 2 Cents: Point blank and period, I never sacrifice comfort for cuteness. Next!

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My Question of the Day: Carlos loves his wife, Gabriela, with all his heart, soul and mind. He fell in love with her the first time he saw her when they were both three years old, and he knew he’d marry her, which happened when they were 23. There’s nothing Carlos wouldn’t do, within his power, to make Gabriela happy.

Since they’ve been married, they’ve gotten along quite well, but there is one thing Gabriela does that absolutely drives Carlos insane. He will ask Gabriela if she minds if he does this or that, and she will say she doesn’t mind, but later she will reveal that she does mind. When Carlos asks her why she doesn’t just say that she’s opposed to whatever it is, Gabriela tells him that he should know by the look on her face or by the tone of her voice that she would rather him not do something regardless of what she actually says. Carlos finds her way of thinking very frustrating, but he loves her in spite of it.

Another time comes that Carlos goes to Gabriela and asks her if she would have a problem with him going on an all-day road trip with her father and brother. They invited Carlos to go with them to the mountains to hike, and Carlos told them he would make sure it was okay with Gabriela before saying he would go. When Gabriela learns that the hiking trip is the same day that she was planning to ask Carlos to take her on an all-day antiquing adventure, something they both enjoy doing, she frowns and is quiet for a moment. Carlos sees the expression on her face and assumes he won’t be going on the trip with his in-laws, but Gabriela tells him she doesn’t mind if he goes and even tells him to have a good time.

Carlos’ gut is telling him that Gabriela doesn’t want him to go, but out of her mouth she said it was okay. Now he’s torn. Does he go and risk another argument about her not saying what she means, or does he not go and possibly avoid an argument later?

What do you think Carlos should do?

My 2 Cents: Carlos should go with his in-laws and refuse to engage in any kind of discussion about this later. If he doesn’t put his foot down on this nonsense soon, it’s going to continue to be a point of contention in their marriage for the rest of it. Gabriela needs to mean what she says and say what she means. If she loves Carlos half as much as he loves her, she wouldn’t be doing this in the first place. If she can’t help herself, she needs therapy. This is not fair to Carlos, period.

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My Question of the Day: Agatha, a stay-at-home mom, who devoted 20 years of her life as a military spouse until her husband retired a year ago, lives on the East Coast with her husband and children, loves her life and is smack, dab in the middle of the most comfortable routine that her life has had in years. She’s settled, has friends to hang out with and just loves not having to pack up and move to another of her husband’s duty stations after two or three years. She has also seen how the permanency of being in one place has settled her children, and they are thriving.

One day while planning her weekend, her husband, Edward, tells her he needs to talk with her about something very important. Edward goes on to explain how his parents are not doing very well on their own and he’s concerned for their safety. They live on the West Coast, so it takes a long time to get to them if something happens.

Agatha loves her in-laws, so she tells Edward that she’d be happy to have Edward’s parents move in with them. However, that’s not what Edward has in mind. He goes on to tell Agatha that the plan is for them to sell their home and re-establish themselves on the West Coast near his parents. Since they’re older and fragile, and need to be near the doctors and places they trust, Edward couldn’t convince his parents to move to the East Coast.

Edward tells Agatha that the final decision rests with her. He acknowledges all the sacrifices she made during his military career, and he also acknowledges that he knows she and their children have been very happy staying put and growing roots in their current community. He tells Agatha that she can decide whether they stay or go.

What should Agatha do?

My 2 Cents: Uh, no. There’s no way, if I were Agatha, that I’d let my husband put me in this position. He wouldn’t be going to my children telling them that it was my decision to move, and he wouldn’t be going to his parents telling them that it was my decision that they not move.

I’d tell him that as the man of the house, who for the last 20 years decided where we lived and when we moved, this is also his decision. I’d let him know I’d respect his choice, and support him 100% but I would not allow him to put me in this trick bag, especially if I never had a choice in all the previous moves.

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