My Question of the Day for 06 July 2010 – UPDATED
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My Question of the Day: Simone’s good friend, Alicia, from college has fallen on some hard financial times. Alicia calls Simone and asks if she can move into her spare bedroom for a few months until she gets on her feet again.
Since her school days, Simone has always lived alone. It was her roommate experiences in college that made her not want to share living space with anyone once she obtained a job that would pay her enough to live on her own.
Simone’s never had anyone stay for more than a few days’ visit, and she’s not accustomed to having anyone in her space for a long period of time, but she’s always gotten along well with Alicia, and of all her college roommates Alicia was the one who Simone was able to deal with best.
The women hash out an exact move-in and move-out schedule, along with the amount of money Alicia will pay Simone for utilities and part of the rent for the agreed-upon, three-month living arrangement.
It is now two and a half months into the agreement, and everything has gone quite well. Alicia has consistently paid her agreed-upon share of the bills, she’s cleaned up behind herself, she’s never failed to clear it with Simone before having any company in the house, and she’s always been mindful when she needed to clear out for a few days to give Simone some alone time.
Simone has been pleased with Alicia’s conduct, but she’s very much looking forward to having her entire home back to herself in half a month. Even though Alicia has been an exceptional housemate, Simone just really prefers having her living space to herself. There are just certain things you can’t do when you share space with someone; like walk to the kitchen naked. 
About a week before she is to move out, Alicia asks to have a talk with Simone. Alicia invited Simone out to lunch, and Simone gladly accepts knowing that Alicia won’t be around much longer and they should get together as much as possible in these last seven days.
Over lunch, Alicia talks about how well things have worked out, and she thanks Simone for helping her get back on her feet. Then she suggests that they extend the living arrangement for another nine months. Alicia explains to Simone that she’s now in a position to pay half of everything, and she will also continue to be considerate of Simone’s home and space.
Simone looks at her friend and sees the joy on her face. She realizes that Alicia is anticipating a positive response to her suggestion. Simone smiles warmly and excuses herself to the bathroom. As she closes the door to her stall, her mind is racing about what her answer should be.
What do you think Simone should do?
My 2 Cents: Simone should follow her first heart/mind, and very gently and sensitively explain to Alicia that she’s been an amazing housemate for their time together, but she wants to be on her own again. Anything else could be disastrous in the long run, especially if Alicia changes her habits and/or Simone just can’t take living with anyone any longer.
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As with all requests, the answer “no” is always a good answer.
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LikeDislikeI think that if her friend is willing to help out by offering half the bills/rent this benefits Simone as well and sometimes having a roomie is fun. I understand where she’s coming from though – it’s nice to have your own living space but it’s also just as nice to find a great friend who you can learn to live with before you begin a family (if you’re planning to)
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LikeDislikeSimone should end the living arrangement; personal space is invaluable.
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LikeDislikeSimone needs to just tell Alicia that she prefers to live alone, that it’s nothing personal. She already proved that she’s a good friend when she sacrificed her own desires to help a friend in need; but Alicia is no longer in need. Just because Alicia is not a bad roommate is not enough of a reason to continue in what — for Simone — is a less than ideal situation. If Simone needed the money, it might be worth dealing with, but there’s no indication of that. So it’s best to do what’s best for herself (now that her friend is okay), before she ends up resenting Alicia’s presence…
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LikeDislikeI can definitely relate to Simone. I always enjoyed living alone before I got married. But since Alicia is such a good friend, I wouldn’t want to sever our relationship. I would probably suck it up and let her extend the living arrangement, especially since its worked out so well. Some people want a place to stay but have no respect for your wishes. So Alicia seems to take into account that she’s a guest.
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LikeDislikeI feel that if Simone is in the position to help Alicia and extend the Living arrangement, she should. This also benefits Simone. (Extra money) Simone should think this thru before she makes a Final Decision.
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LikeDislikeSimone should just tell her the truth. She should let Alicia know that she’s infringing on her desire to walk into the kitchen naked.
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LikeDislikeSimone should be upfront and honest with Alicia and let her know she doesn’t wish to extend the living arrangement. Honesty is the best policy and if Simone weren’t upfront and honest with Alicia about not wanting a roomie any longer ill feelings could arise.
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