My Question of the Day for 30 June 2010 – UPDATED
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My Question of the Day: Parents of a five-year-old are in a heated debate about how to handle an on-going situation with their daughter. Since birth, Dad has enjoyed sharing a bath with his baby girl. He liked the idea of being able to hold her and keep a watchful eye on her so that she didn’t slip in the water and drown. Mom was pleased to see Dad taking such an active role in the care of their daughter and sometimes all three would bathe together. It was fun family time.
About the age of three, Mom begin dropping the bug in Dad’s ear that he was going to have to stop bathing with their daughter next year because the little girl would be at the age where she would be curious about “boy parts” and “girl parts.” Dad scoffed and thought it was absurd to think he’d have to stop sharing this special bonding time in the bubbles with his daughter.
Age four came and went and still Dad and daughter were sharing a bath. Mom would hear them sharing their day and Dad would take this time to lovingly correct his daughter about different things that needed to be addressed. Still, Mom thinks it’s time for father and daughter to stop the shared baths.
What do you think?
My 2 Cents: I can appreciate that Dad wants to share some special time with his daughter, but it’s time to stop the co-bathing.
There are other ways to bond with your child(ren), and Dad needs to discover a new way to do so. His daughter is growing up and he’s messing with her age of innocence here.
He’s also messing with his own innocence. All he needs to happen is for his little girl to go to school and talk about how she shares a bath with her daddy and she’s seen his boy parts, etc.
Mom is going to have to be more proactive. Maybe she should bathe the little girl before Dad gets home, and eventually the daughter will get accustomed to bathing alone. Even if she puts up a fuss to begin with, if Mom sticks with it her daughter will eventually understand that this is the new system.
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| 1016 on 28 June 2010
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I have never heard of such a thing. My dad played sports with us and read to us. Bathing with us? No way – that’s inappropriate. It’s different if a parent bathes his child but NOT with his child. That’s just plain wrong and this behavior needs to end now!
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LikeDislikeUh. WTF? That doesn’t even compute for me. I don’t even let my boys see my business. Seems highly inappropriate to me. My youngest is 2 and he can wash his own assets. Dad needs to get a grip before chris hanson shows up.
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LikeDislikeHe NEVER shouldve been sharing a bath with his Daughter to Begin With! This Child is Old Enough to bathe herself. This type of behavior needs to stop NOW.
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LikeDislikeI can’t believe that Daddy wouldn’t voluntarily agree to stop bathing with the child himself. Call me skeptical, if you want, but by this time, I’m looking Daddy all upside his head like he already crazy…be taking my child to the doctor to have her checked out and everything. I would have to quit dropping hints and straight put in a demand that Daddy quit taking baths with the child. Sure, you can watch her, make sure she’s okay, but don’t be touching on her and stuff. Heck, by the time the child is five, I’m tryna make sure she knows how to wash herself thoroughly without my assistance in the room at all. Daddy needs to be with me on this or we’re going to have a lot of problems in the end. She’s going to school…One mention of Daddy bathing with her and all kinds of other problems will be knocking at the door.
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LikeDislikeNo way, no how, should the father and daughter share a bath. This routine should have ended when the child was 18 months to 2 years old. If I were the mother I would seriously question the father’s insistence to share nakedness with a 5 year old. Even if he has the best of intentions, he’s causing his daughter to be confused about sharing her private parts with someone else. What if a male family member had evil intentions and coaxed the girl into taking a bath with him and then molested her? The little girl wouldn’t really know that its wrong because she’s been bathing with a grown man for her entire life.
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LikeDislikeLikely it’s completely innocent, but there are age appropriate actions, and I think it’s time for this one to end.
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LikeDislikeYeah, time to ixnay the athbays together. There are so many other ways to bond with the little one. This one has run its course. Plus, unless he wants to face charges or suspicion from school officials when the little one blurts it out to her teacher then he needs to start a new tradition.
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LikeDislikeDad needs to find another way to bond with his baby girl and mom needs to insist this type of bonding cease. Although dad’s intentions may be purely innocent others may not perceive this as such. Dad your little girl is growing up and needs to bathe ALONE.
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