My Question of the Day for 18 June 2010 – UPDATED
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My Question of the Day: You have a good friend or relative who is determined to enter a competition to do something for which s/he totally has no talent. For years, you and so many others have tried to tell this person that this particular thing just isn’t his/her “cup of tea,” but s/he is absolutely determined to enter a competition that will expose him/her to the criticism of thousands of people. What do you do?
My 2 Cents: You can’t save a person who doesn’t want to be saved. I would make one, last attempt to ask him/her to think about what s/he is getting in to, and then I’d let it happen.
In the end, I’d be there to support him/her. I’m no talent scout, s/he may have the spark that someone else will see and know how to hone, so my good friend or relative can realize his/her dream. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”
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Id be there to pick up the pieces.. I try super hard to not be the I told u so person.. but nurturing and consoling comes easy to me.. but now ppl who work the hardest and never give up go further than the most talented ones. Talent and drive completely independent.
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LikeDislikeWell… everyone I know tried to tell me “I’m not good at…” singing, rapping, poetry, etc. They tried to save me from embarrassment.
Years later… I’m still have a high interest in those things, and every1 tells me to go for it!
Experience taught me that no matter what others say, you can pretty much shock anyone.
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LikeDislikeSome things you have to experience for yourself to decide if you like the outcome. Instead of pushing the issue to the point it appears I am trying to discourage you from having new outlets of expression, I say go for it. I will be there to a certain extent should the obvious failure ensue but, if the sign says “danger high voltage” I have to assume you ignored it for shock value intentionally.
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LikeDislikeJust let them do what they want. Most people really do have to learn the hard way. Of course, I’ll be supportive of them if they fall flat on their face, LOL.
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LikeDislikeSheri, my thoughts, completelty. Nothing! After you’ve done all you can, you just….. Stand! I would stand for the Po Child, knowing the outcome might not be favorable. Who knows? This day & time, we could all be wrong & Judges could see something in him/her, we’ve never seen before. It’s whatever!
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LikeDislikeSince I’ve already told them that this isn’t their strong suit and others have said the same, there’s nothing else to do. They clearly knows what people think of their skills and can do whatever they want with that information. I’d just go to the competition and support my friend. I have no right to try to change an adult’s mind just because it’s something *I* wouldn’t do.
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LikeDislikeI’d try to find out why it was so important to her to do this and then go scream my vocal chords out cheering her on. Later, we’d laugh together about how horrible she was.
I see it this way: if she insists on competing, there’s something deeper. Like when the Karate Kid said he still wanted to fight to overcome his fear. Whatever my friend needs to get through, I’m there.
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LikeDislikeWell, if they ignored my advice, I guess there is nothing left for me to do but to sit back and watch the epic fail ensue. I won’t tell them “I told you so”, but a small part of me would chuckle on the inside.
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LikeDislikeHmmm…this is a difficult one. When we work with children we encourage them to follow their dreams, that they are capable of doing anything. When it comes to an adult, it’s so easy to try to stop that person from embarassing themselves, or to save them from criticism. As cruel as the world may be, there is something to be said for those individuals who have a dream and are brave enough to try to achieve it. A person may not have the talent to win a particular competition, but is that really the measure of success? I think success is better defined as being happy in the moment of doing something that you love, despite the critics around you. I would encourage my friend, would be in the front row cheering them on, and then either wipe their tears or laugh along with them at how awesome it felt to be out their doing what they love.
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LikeDislikethere’s no better educator than experience….that person unfortunately would just have to feel the criticism for themselves to know.
then again, what WE may disapprove of, someone else may find to their liking, so who are we to judge? the best thing to do is let the person experience the competition, and no matter WHAT the outcome, be supportive. if they get rotten tomatoes thrown @ ‘em, be there to give a shoulder to cry on and a big hug. if they are received with admiration, be there 2 jump & up Down with them and hugs in success.
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LikeDislikeI would try to gently tell this person, their talents lie elsewhere. Then try really hard to find an area where that person really has a gift. If they’re bad at dancing, maybe they’re better at singing. And if that still isn’t ideal, maybe arts&crafts and working with children. People don’t always get famous for working with kids, but it helps make the world a better place. (climbs down from soapbox)
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LikeDislikeIf I’ve already advised her that she is not good at what she’s trying to do and she’s gung ho about doing it in front of the world, or whatever, I’m just gonna let her go for what she knows. Since she’s a “good” friend, I’ll be there to support her (cringing all the while) and try to ease her pain (if need be) and laugh at her (to her face) all at the same time…Cuz I’m a good friend like that! LOL But, seriously, I’m gonna stand behind her if it’s something she really wants to do, even though she’s no good at it.
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LikeDislikeNothing.
Just be there to support her when she needs it.
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