My Question of the Day for 03 June 2010 – UPDATED
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My Question of the Day: Many of us look to our parents for guidance and wisdom, knowing that they’ve been many of the places we’re trying to go. With that in mind, and with an understanding that most of our parents have our best interest at heart, would you allow your parent(s) to choose the person you marry?
(this question was inspired by a question ask by @iamvictorious on Twitter; it is used here with her permission; thanks!)
My 2 Cents: Hm. This question made me think. After the poor choice I made for my first marriage, I’m not so quick to say never on this subject.
I can’t say I’d let my parents choose the person I marry, but I’d lean heavily on their advice, since they’ve been married over 41 years, and my mother just seems to have a good read on people.
I’d like to think that if I allowed them to choose, they’d allow me the option to decline and then they’d start their search again, but that would only happen in a perfect world. 
My mother would probably be like, “Look. Forget this. I’m not wasting anymore of my time on you. I’m going shoe shopping!” 
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Since both my parents are unmarried at 50 yrs old of course not. What do they know about marriage. My dad just now realizing he shoulda married my mom, and my mother says they dont make them like your father anymore. lol
They both are challenged when it comes to commitment lol
But I love them though lol
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LikeDislikehmmm, plain and simple – NOPE. id definitely hear them out, maybe even take their advice on some of the things they say, but I can’t just allow them to choose the one person i intend to spend the rest of my life with. in addition, i’d like them to be confident that they raised me the correct way, so that i can make the wise decision myself.
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LikeDislikeI wouldn’t go so far as let my parents choose the person I marry. That having been said I would not likely marry someone my parents were strongly against or who’s parents didn’t approve of me. I guess this ties in to your previous question of multiple soul mates. It’s a big world out there. Marriage is more than a simple union of two people. It’s the bringing together of two families.
Life itself is full of enough struggles. Why create yet another? Why must we create situations where one must choose one or the other when it’s possible to have both?
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LikeDislikeI would probably consider my parents’ opinions of my potential spouse but I would not allow them to pick for me. That’s a step I must take on my own. I don’t disagree with it but it’s not for me.
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LikeDislikeNO I WOULDN’T WANT THEM CHOOSING WHO I MARRY I DO TRUST THEM BUT I RATHER MATHER THAT CHOICE ON MY OWN.
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LikeDislikeHeck no. My parents would have chosen someone whom they liked and admired, but not necessarily someone that I could live with.
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LikeDislikeI wouldn’t let my parents choose my wife. It’s not because I don’t trust their opinions or their values. I would let them choose potential wives based on their life experiences. But the final decision would have to be mine.
I wouldn’t want to have myself, my wife, my parents and her parents feeling bad if things don’t work out. I could only imagine everybody being like, “My bag…”, if things got bad and everything hit splitsville. Instead, I can say, “Hey. I made this decision, so I have to life with it good, bad or otherwise…”
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LikeDislikeI have a couple of friends that are in arranged marriages. Both couples have been married a long time. One of the relationships, the guy is a few years older than the wife and in the other they’re about the same age. The topic of arranged marriage has been a lunchtime convo and opinions vary, primarily because of culture. For me, having my parents select my spouse ummm, nah, I don’t think so. I did, however, value their opinion of my future spouse, but I prefer to have the ultimate say so when it comes to my mate.
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LikeDislikeI trust my parents judgement on many things. But who I love is a personal choice. So I have to make that decision for my self.
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LikeDislikeI could probably trust them to choose for me since I know they would choose a good person. But I think I’m a bit more carefree and spontaneous than maybe they are aware, so I don’t know if they would take into account how much I’d need a “go with the flow” type of guy. lol Then again, my husband *became* a “go with the flow” guy, so maybe it would work…
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