The Harder Question for 07 April 2010
The Harder Question: Your teenager is in need of a kidney transplant, and fortunately you and your teen’s other parent are both viable donors. You and his/her other parent decide it will be the other parent who gives your teenager the kidney, and the operation is performed successfully. The doctors give your teenager instructions about being very careful to take his/her anti-rejection medications as instructed or the kidney will fail.
For several weeks, your teen does really well with following the doctor’s instructions, but after awhile your teen doesn’t think he/she needs the medication, so he/she stops taking it regularly. Eventually, your teen stops taking the medication all together. You notice your teen is getting sicker and sicker, and every time you ask if he/she is taking the anti-rejection medicine as instructed, he/she tells you yes.
You come home from work to find your teen passed out on the floor of the kitchen and non-responsive. You call for an ambulance, and you all are rushed to the hospital. After several tense hours, your teen’s doctor comes out to tell you and your teen’s other parent that he/she is going into kidney failure again, because he/she hasn’t been taking his/her anti-rejection medication. The doctor tells you all that another transplant is going to be necessary, because the first transplanted kidney is no longer viable.
What do you do?
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without hesitation i would give my kidney to my child both of the parents would be donor matches. i would not think about it. i would also insist that the father and i would both have to come into agreement about making sure that our child takes the medicine as instructed and that we all go into counseling and understand why our child stopped taking the meds in the first place. i think we would have to drive it home that chances of getting another kidney would mean death to one of us. there would be no question in my mind that i would give my kidney to my child – my last. we would not be able to wait for another match. that is, if the other parent is not willing to do it. i think it would be hard to stress that point for all of us to think about, but teens do not think about the repercussions of their actions – especially with health matters whether or not they are feeling healthy. we must make sure that our children understand the importance of preventative care. we cannot use the emergency rooms as forms of doctor’s appointments. in this scenario, this point would have been clear while riding in the ambulance. i would want to drive that point home even more after the fact and make sure it is a ongoing discussion – not just the meds but diet, exercise, mental/spiritual health — all of it plays a part in our being healthy, whole individuals.
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