My Question of the Day for 17 February 2010 – UPDATED
My Question of the Day: One of your coworkers is ordering out for lunch. He/she goes around the entire office asking others if they’d like to get in on the order, but he/she noticeably skips one particular coworker whom no one, including you, likes. Do you ask the coworker taking orders to include the left-out coworker?
(this question was submitted by @tclarkusa; thanks!)
My 2 Cents: Back when I actually had television, I remember flipping through channels and coming across a T.D. Jakes broadcast. I didn’t watch him regularly, and I think that was probably my second or third time happening across one of his broadcasts, but he said something in that short time I was watching that’s stuck with me until this day. He was talking about workplaces, and he said, and I’m paraphrasing, “Don’t go to professional places looking for personal relationships.” That just rang in my spirit, because it summed up my attitude towards work and the people with whom I work. I’m friendly with all, but I can’t say I’m friends with anyone. I come to work to work, not to develop friendships. If I develop a friendship, that’s great. If I don’t, I’m here to do my work and get my paycheck, and all is still right with the world.
I’m saying all that to say, in professional places be professional. If you’re going to ask everyone in the office if they want to go in on a lunch order, ask everyone, even the person you think you don’t like. I mean, we really don’t know most of the people with whom we work other than what we see of them at the job. You never know. The person you dislike as a coworker could possibly be a person who you’d, under different circumstances or in a different situation, become friends with because you all happen to have much in common.
There’s never any excuse to be rude and petty. If you can’t include everyone, then don’t include anyone. Just order your lunch and let everyone else fend for themselves.
———-
Take a few moments to check out the tweets from Twitter on this subject:
———-
PROTECTED TWEETER I would say include everybody or don’t ask anyone!why go thru the trouble of leaving out one person?very silly!
treschic67 2 exclude some one is very rude. I’d take it upon myself to ask him/her what they’d like & I’d scold the order taker
Sparty1216 Take the order and give it to the co-worker making the run!
JoshDamage I wud include the co-worker in the order.
PROTECTED TWEETER Yes u still include the “not liked” co-worker. No need to be rude ! Could Be You One Day
———-
The commentary doesn’t have to end!
Please feel free to continue to add your comments below.
———-
RULES FOR COMMENTS
1. DO NOT include links in your post. There is a place for you to include one link when you’re filling out the Name/Email/Website information. Comments that include links will be deleted.
2. If your post is obviously irrelevant to the question at hand, it will be deleted. This is a tactic spammers use to simply show up on blogs.
3. Please keep your comments respectful. We can agree to disagree without attacking each other.
Yes!! You are to stay professional at ALL times when in the workplace.
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikeI have been in that situation, and I ask the order-taker to ask the “unliked”. If the order-taker refuses, I'll ask. That way you can say you did have a chance to get your order in…
Plus, that's adding a dash of “kill 'em with kindness in there…
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikeThat's one of my main reasons for NOT doing potlucks. I just don't break bread with any and everybody.
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikeThat's one of my main reasons for NOT doing potlucks. I just don't break bread with any and everybody.
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikethat's what happens. Or you end up with all sides and only one main dish that is gone with the first couple people. And why did 3 people bring cups, but no drink?
And not to sound untrusting, but I am with these people 40 hours a week and I SEE some of you are not very hygienic.
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikehahahah @ Except my ex. Please do NOT feed the animals
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikeIm glad you said that made me feel better.
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikeBrian yes they have & they are the worst potlucks I ever seen. About 3 of out 20 ppl cook and the rest bring store bought cookies and cakes. And a whole bunch of other crap that nobody wants lol Im to the point where I bring beverages. Cant go wrong there lol
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikeBeen there done that. At my last job this was common. I always insisted that you can't leave one person out. You HAVE to ask everyone – even the pain in the necks.
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikeHaha. If you can't beat them, do your own thing. Forget joining them, right?
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikei actually went thru this at my last job. it was a small office of 9 people it was a clique of 6 of them, and boy they were mean!!! they hated this one particular girl, and would never ask her if she wanted anything…so i would start ordering for her! when they found i was doing that they didn't like it, and stopped asking me. (can U say CHILDISH?- “come on son”) – we didn't let it worry us one bit…cuz me & her started getting our own food, which pissed them off even more. we luved it!
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikeI don't participate in pot lucks. You provide your lunch. I'll provide mine. Haha.
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikeseriously. Has your office ever tried to plan a pot luck? Too difficult. It's easier to find peace in the Middle East.
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikeI would have to say something to the person taking the order. If no one in the office likes that person, I'm sure it is already painfully obvious. (I would assume the sit in isolation while co-workers socialize). The added insult of asking everyone for a lunch order but them would be horribly mean. I would feel so bad for the one person, even if I was one who did not like them. There is a huge difference between thoughts and actions. No one should be made to feel inferior.
Except my ex. Please do NOT feed the animals
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikeYou do ask the person taking orders to include the left out co-worker. I understand no one likes that particular person, but is it truly necessary to go out of your way to be mean by excluding? It is not worth it to poison the work environment with intentional cruelty. A gentle word/deed turns away wrath. The best thing to do for that disliked co-worker is to kill them with kindness.
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikeI can't really imagine a scenario where I wouldn't say something to the order taker. They're already getting lunch for the entire office, leaving one person out is just obviously vindictive and kinda childish.
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikeEveryone should be asked if they would like something. That is why this is a bad idea to begin with, and a huge time waster. Usually, in past scenarios I have gone out of my way to include the person left out, much to the chagrin of trhe order taker…as I said, bad idea form the get go!
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislikeNo if I am at work I only worry about myself. I dont like to take on the responsibility of order taker bc it takes to long. Something so little can snowball into something terrible in a short time. This happened to me a few weeks ago.
Was this answer helpful?
LikeDislike