The Question: In terms of marriage, you never know who you’re getting until after you say, “I do.” Agree or Disagree?

My 2 Cents: Unless you’re mate is a cold-hearted, conscience-less sociopath, I have to DISAGREE that you never know who you’re getting until after you say, “I do.” There are ways to know a person’s character and their principles, even if they attempt to hide it from you. True character comes out over time, so if we don’t rush into permanency, and we truly watch and see, ask, listen and hear, observe and absorb, our intuition will lead us in the right direction and let us know if this person is good for us or not good for us.

We can’t turn a blind eye or a deaf ear when red flags pop up. They mean something. Pay attention to them. Too often when we end up with someone we claim we never knew, the signs were there all along, and we chose not to see them because we wanted to see past those signs and see the good in the individual. Goodness doesn’t have to be excavated. Goodness will show through even the roughest and gruffest exterior.

———-

Take a few moments to check out the tweets from Twitter on this subject:

———-

mblackburn  I think a couple should live together for a year or so before marrying. Then you know

PROTECTED TWEETER Agree

frparker  Disagree. Premarital counseling. Do recon. Pay attention. Get credit reports. Ask hard questions. It’s a responsibility!

LadyJay91  agree ppl send their representative for the long haul!

blacknthick  I disagree if you two have already lived together then you know what you getting

akaziaj  You don’t even then. As humans we R in a constant state of change. We can only hope the person changes into their best self.

XPhile1908  I don’t know, but I’ve been told. So, agree by proxy?

webratss  Agree. Sometimes it’s a pleasant surprise other times you’re screaming “why me lawd?!”

xsashagirl  Agree to the Nth Degree

PROTECTED TWEETER  disagree. ive been with my man for going on 8yrs. we live together & all. once we get married, im sure we will be da same. lol

jigsawverbiage Yes&No. You know. Sometimes U choose 2 hope they change. Sometimes they change on their own. Nix 1st, expect 2nd, be at peace.

Kimtwitts I agree! Your true selves are revealed once the commitment is legalized. Somehow ownership comes into play.

CampbellX  well if you don’t have an extensive courting period I agree.

PROTECTED TWEETER EXACTLY–life’s like a box of chocolate, you never know what you’re gonna get!

PROTECTED TWEETER Hi there! I agree. I think it applies both ways, you never know how you’ll evolve over the years either.

rishaholmes  TRUE and to expound further on your ? of the day…Just say NO to marriage! LoL Single life rules! lol

writethevision  Disagree. We know exactly what’s going on. Of course, time always reveals more than we knew initially.

treschic67  Although we had a short engagement, I knew my hubby inside out B4 I said I do. He was EXACTLY what I prayed For in a Spouse.

BLKMGK  Agree

Andrea1908  If you don’t know the person you’re marrying before you get married, then don’t marry. I’ve not had any surprises from hubby.

walkerdl  It depends on how much your spouse reveals to you before marriage. There’ve been no major surprises for me

PROTECTED TWEETER Disagree

Ms_LaTisha  I disagree. The changes don’t happen after the “I do” but after years of marriage. People grow and change, it’s a part of life.

queenesther  If you date them formally/carefully/strategically, you know EXACTLY what you’re getting when you get married.

Spite1977  you would know what ur getting if u lived with the person for awhile b4 actually saying “I do”..

chela816  @ImjustZidonia Keep *something* secret, yes. But I don’t think they can keep WHO they are (character) secret forever

ImjustZidonia  @chela816 yes, but if someone wants to keep something from you. No matter how long you’re around them they will.

PROTECTED TWEETER  I’m not married but my dad experienced that so agree dependn on the person.I def think u don’t know a person until u live w/em

chela816  @ImjustZidonia Very true. But I think the threshold is time, not marital status. The longer you’re around, the more you see…

ImjustZidonia @chela816 you only know as much as that person chooses to tell you or allows you to see thru actions. Be it good or bad.

chela816  Disagree. Only if you get married too soon. Take time to really know the person; they can’t hide their real self 4ever .

NightShade10 I think I never knew what would happen after”I do”the person didn’t change,health does, or other things-in my case

tclarkusa  I disagree. Marriage changes things, but not the person. Things may come to light once u say I do

sunshine625 Agree

JoshDamage  if your naive. me myself I wouldnt propose unless I was 100% sure who a woman was. I wont even date u if ur not wife material

———-

The commentary doesn’t have to end!

Please feel free to continue to add your comments below.