My Question of the Day for 21 October 2009
My Question of the Day: You’re standing at the window/screen door watching your child/niece/nephew/close friend’s child, we’ll call him/her Chris, playing with some children in the neighborhood. One particular child in the group has a habit of being too aggressive with the other children, we’ll call him/her Tracy, which is why you’re watching in the first place. All the children are playing nicely together, and you’re about to walk away. All of a sudden, Tracy shoves Chris to the ground. You step out of the house to find out what’s going on. The children all explain that it was a misunderstanding and Tracy overreacted. You ask Tracy to apologize to Chris, and he/she refuses to do so. You do the next responsible thing and walk both children to Tracy’s home to speak with his/her parent(s). You explain to the parent(s) what happened, and you let the parent(s) know that all you’re asking is that Tracy apologize to Chris and the matter will be over. Tracy’s parent(s) look(s) at you with indifference and say he/she/they doesn’t/don’t think what Tracy did is a big deal, and he/she/they accuse you of being too sensitive and overprotective. What do you do?
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The response of the parent would answer my mental question of what’s wrong with Tracy. I would not allow my child to interact with Tracy because I can’t fix his parents and he will be a product of what they expose him to at home. Unless Tracy is in physical danger at home, end of interaction, no trying to inject my morals or views on their child…that’s just asking for a new problem. Most parents who are worth speaking with intellegently have their kids in order already, what you’re going to find at Tracy’s house is a cursing out and/or a fight waiting to happen most likely.
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LikeDislikeit would appear that Tracy is acting out from some problems they have at home, and the parent’s indifference reinforces that. i would try to talk to tracy about why she did what she did and give her positive reinforcement for behaving better. someone has to help the child learn better ways to express her anger than pushing others around. she needs help and her family may need it too.
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LikeDislikeIMHO, typically school principals RARELY take sides. All children will not be allowed to play in front of any houses unless the neighborhood parents agree on a responsible watch play plan (kind of like a Neighborhood Watch). If parents want their kids to play, they must be willing to watch them, allow behavior waivers and rules of appropriate play conduct. I would NEVER go to anyone’s house uninvited, but that is my opinion. Some people think it is okay, but I have seen how neighbor-to-neighbor violence is committed on foul behavior. If one chooses to go to the “offending” child’s house and make any demands, make sure there is an overview of the area: i.e. what does the yard look like, are the people relatively clean, the insides you see, does it look okay, are there odors? If there is any inkling being off, call police, and file a complaint. Because when a child acts out, there is invariably something inappropriate going on at the home and if you are not trained in these kinds of services, it is better to get the people who are. Of course, I have been told this is the nuclear option.
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LikeDislikeI would not allow my child to play with Tracy. Moreover, if there is some law I can use to press charges against Tracy’s parents I would use that law to the fullest extent. Tracy’s parents may not think it is serious now, but I do not want Tracy to grow up a deliquent with no respect for people or their property.
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