Community Answers

1. 

   8-3-09

   Stephanie says:

   Don’t tell the other person; it would only hurt them. To tell them would be more to help yourself than to help them. Interesting the QOTD used the phrase plan to cheat. This person would need to talk to God about this one, and decide if they wantd to be in a committed relationship or not.

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2. 

   8-3-09

   Queen Esther says:

   I think that cheating is wrong but for the sake of clarity, like to know what definition of “cheating” that we’re using in this instance. In the Bible, Jesus says that basically, if you think it, you did it. And in this day and age, everyone fantasizes about everyone else. Actually, marriage councelors encourage it, to stimulate a healthy and active sex life. So your husband is doing you, but he’s thinking about Beyonce. Is that cheating? Another thing: people cheat emotionally by having close intimate relationships with members of the opposite sex that are never physicalized.

   And of course, all of this begs the question: do you tell your spouse EVERYTHING, absolutely everything about yourself that you can possibly think of, good or bad? I mean, how much full disclosure do you have as it is? And really, now much do you need? Do you really think that married people tell each other everything anyway?

   I know i had more questions than answers but i hope i shed some light on the subject.

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3. 

   8-3-09

   OneChele says:

   If it is indeed once, with no possibility of repeat or discovery, then no, nothing good comes from revealing it. But it should be said that the indiscretion and inability to come clean about it has irrevocably altered your primary relationship in a way that tears at the foundation.
   Though it’s not in the scope of your question, the best action is simply not to do it.

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4. 

   8-3-09

   Orion says:

   If you’re ultimate goal in life is to maintain your relationship with your spouse then revealing this lasp in judgement, this weakness in resolve, is only counterproductive. Funny how the phrase ‘plan to do it again’ is used to frame the question. If you planned on cheating the first time then you should break off your current relationship. If you constantly find yourself in cheating situations though they weren’t planned then you should end your current relationship but that’s not the scope of the question.

   Still though you cheated, however often, telling your significant other won’t help and based solely on the conditions of the QOTD you should not tell the other person the truth. It would be akin to answering honestly questions like, “Do these clothes make me look…?”, “Do you think I’ll make it in xxxxx school?”, “Are you looking forward to the family reunion?” where the truth will only hurt.

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5. 

   8-3-09

   ImABlackPoem says:

   You should discuss this with your partner. You & your partner need to discuss why you cheated – there had to be a reason and maybe you guys can work on it together. Besides, after discussing this with your partner you may see just why you want to be in a relationship with that person and you may see reasons to move on with your life and start anew. Not telling your partner that you cheated doesn’t change the fact that you cheated!

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6. 

   8-3-09

   md20737 says:

   There is not any good reason to cheat.If you are unhappy with the person get rid of them. And if you do cheat. There isnt any good reason for you to tell your mate, if you get away with it. Cheating only destroys the trust factor in the relationship. And confessing doesnt win enough cool points to repair the damage done by cheating.

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